Take a Breath: “It was tougher then I thought.”

by Kyle Beaton

Last weekend I attended Rounds 5 and 6 of the KTM Canadian Arenacross Championship. I was excited to be back at the track to see all my buddies and fans, but was bummed I was only going to be a spectator. The promoters, John and Jamie Hellam, had asked me if I wanted to be a part of the opening ceremonies and of course I said yes.  I thought it would be good to be in front of some fans and let them know what was going on with me these days.

I don’t think I’ve been that nervous in a long, long time. It was weird how bad my nerves were while getting interviewed. I rode up with Ryan Lockhart and while I was holding on to his bars to keep balance, my hands were shaking like crazy. I was kind of stumbling with the questions and it was probably by far the worst interview I’ve ever done at “Beats’ Barn.” After, Ryan asked me why I was shaking so badly, but I didn’t have an answer for him at that time. I didn’t know why I got so nervous. I think it had to do with a lot of things like being back at the barn where I’ve had so much success and great memories.  Also, I believe it was because I was not racing that night and my thoughts of me stepping away from racing.  There were a lot of emotions running through me that hadn’t hit until I was standing in front of all the fans and fellow racers, telling them that I was stepping away or retiring.  It finally sunk in on how hard it was going to be to step away from something that has been my life, my everything you could say. For the past 17 years of my life all I’ve done is eaten, breathed, and dreamt of moto.

The hardest part of having to watch was watching the mistakes and opportunities that the riders that were out there didn’t take. I can remember numerous times I would see Spencer Knowles or other racers not go in for the block pass, then end up not winning because of it being so tight and one lined. I kept thinking to myself, if that were me out there I would’ve slammed whoever and done this or that in order to win that race or better my position. Then the racer that didn’t make that aggressive move would come off the track and be bummed about how they did. It was like everyone was best friends out there, but when it comes down to racing, fend for yourself. We all have bills to pay. Leaving dollars out on the track is tough for me to swallow.

This all being said, I think once you show up at your very first race and take it all in, Motocross is in your blood for the rest of your life no matter what you try to do. I know it will be extremely hard for me to not be out there in the future doing what I love but sometimes it’s just the right thing to do, to step away.  Who knows, maybe someday I’ll be back out there pinning it.

Braaaap